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Oui oui

I enjoy masturbating with a nice French roll. Open up the French roll then add any type of lubricant you can think of! Fold the roll around your cock and hump away. I've used many lubricants but what really gets me going is ketchup, that way I can pretend that I am popping that nice tight pussy for the first time!!!!! NICE

Wonder bread

I took half a loaf of bread, making a hole just the diameter of my penis and putting a plastic bag inside the hole and then wrapping it round the half-loaf. I took this to bed with me and it served as an excellent mock vagina. After coming I left the sperm-filled bread by the side of the bed and in the morning masturbated with it again, the previous night’s sperm acting as an arousing lubricant.

Secret ingredient

Once, I was kneading dough in the kitchen and I got an erection and soon realized that it was going to end in masturbation. The soft, rubbery feel of the dough gave me an idea. I made a hole in it, put in some olive oil and then took out my penis and inserted it in this culinary vagina. The sensation was fabulous! I pulled it out and pushed it in, backwards and forwards, until I could feel myself coming. The first few times I did this I practiced “coitus interruptus” and ejaculated outside the dough, but finally I went the whole hog and completed the erotic experience by ejaculating into the dough, then kneading it in and baking “sperm bread”! If only those who eventually ate it had known the secret ingredient!


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