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Liver lover

Buy a piece of the cheapest raw liver you can find. Warm it up, slice a slot into and whack away. It feels as good as a real vagina!!

Sweet meat

Take a couple pieces of bologna and warm it up in the microwave. Wrap them around your cock to make a nice little hole. Use both hand and grab it tight and pump away for 10-15 min (start and stop method is great!). Feels just like a hot piece of ass. When you get so hard you can't stand it, remove the bologna and start whacking your cock for another 10 min or so, using the lube from the bologna. When you just can't hold back any longer, let him blow. You'll have a huge load!!!!!! I promise you'll have to clean up way behind your head!

Meat basket

I like to call this one the Meat Basket. Gather a bunch of meat from the grocery store, especially tri-tip, prime rib, and t-bone. Cut the meat off the bones and pile it all in a basket or bowl of some sort. Heat it to your preference. Add different spices and steak sauces and mix it all together. Take a piece of meat out and slop it all over your dick for an arousal. Then, insert your dick into the bowl and slide it over the saucy meat and cream your dinner!

Mystery meat

Get a can of Spam, take the whole block out, and heat it in the microwave to warm it. Not too much 'cause it will burn your cock. Cut a hole in the center to make it look like this (). Then put your cock in it and start fucking.

Just like pussy

I like to go down to my local supermarket and buy an average raw chicken breast. I chuck it in the microwave to warm it up and when warm cut a slit in it and fuck away like crazy. It feels great and is the closest thing to a real pussy.

Taste of outdoors

I like to go into the woods, finding someplace secluded with my dog. I take her for a walk. I carry with me a big beef stick that I have cut a hole in. I drop my pants and shorts and slip my cock into the hole. I like to sit down on top of a log and spread my legs wide, and slowly thrust my hips into the beef stick pussy. My dog is good for alerting me if someone is coming. I like to take my time doing this. I enjoy a prolonged tease before orgasm.

The grease from the beef stick makes a wonderful lube and I get great suction, for the stick makes a tight fit and is longer than my cock. I stop every now and then to taste my juices and lick the stick. It tastes very good. Then when I cum I lick the sperm from the stick.


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