Masturbation Stories from ONE THOUSAND Real People
Now this might be kind of hard but it works. Grease your hair (really). Works best with long hair -- and yes, the hair on your head. Then bend down REALLY FAR. Stick your cock in your hair put on some rock music and head bang. This is the most maximum pleasure ever!
Tampon in and out
If I really want a wild orgasm I insert a tampon in my anus. I then masturbate to orgasm and as I about to cum I pull out the tampon. It gives me wild orgasms.
Filing time (Note: this is potentially dangerous and not recommended)
I have a filing cabinet in my room with some very heavily loaded drawers. I like to get totally naked and stroke my cock a little to warm-up for a real workout. I tie a piece of strong thick string around one of the heavier drawer's handles with many knots so there's no chance of it coming loose. Then I tie the other end tightly to my cock, about halfway down the shaft. Then I like to walk backwards away from the filing cabinet. This pulls hard on my cock, the string usually sliding to the end of it, just under the head. If it's tied tightly enough, I can carry on walking backwards, with a lot of strain on my cock which causes more and more arousal making me want to jerk off. When I untie and wank my cock is red and painful making Masturbation Tutor session much more intense.
Turning blue (Note: this is dangerous and not recommended)
I try to hold my breath as long as I can, and if I start getting out of air (like after 1.5 minutes for me) I start masturbating. It feels great! My personal record breath holding on this way is 4 minutes. Maybe it's not healthy but I like it.
I threw away my couches and brought in my hammock and parked it right in front of the TV. I keep a down comforter and pillows on the hammock to shield myself from the ropes. For some strange reason, whenever I masturbate in the hammock and watch TV at the same time (like I'm not paying attention to what I'm doing to myself), I have the BEST orgasms. I know for logistics reasons that most people will never get to try this, but just smile knowing that in about 20 minutes, that's probably where I'll be.
Paint me pink (Note: this is dangerous and not recommended)
I found one of the best ways to jerk off is to use some form of paint as a lube. Weather its house paint, or acrylic, the paint makes a nice smooth feeling. Just remember to wash it off ASAP to avoid a new decorating style of cock!
Shake it up (Note: this is extremely dangerous and not recommended)
About a week ago I was cleaning the aisles at work late at night at a hardware store and found this paint can shaker. You know the electric ones at paint supply places. Yup, you guessed it -- it clamps down on your cock perfectly and it has a setting of speeds I used this for like 45 seconds and kaboom. I shot hot cum all over it. Plus it doesn't hurt, it just tugs and wiggles before your cock gets hard your spraying down the aisles. God I love work!!
Last night I stuck the head of my penis just a little bit my anus. The pain of twisting it there and pulling and pushing was almost enough to make me cum, but I ended up just jacking off with my penis twisted around so that my warm cum hit my anus.
Sometimes I'll use drawer handles to masturbate with. Feels better with a condom. If they are too tight loosen them with a screw driver if you can, stick your penis in the hole and go to town. You might even want to take the whole drawer out for added comfort.
Head over to Party City and buy a pair of those inflatable feet. They are usually really big. Inflate it until almost full, but you can bend it a little. Now fold it in half so that the place where you put your foot in is sticking up. You should have formed two holes now. Lube them both and stick your dick right in. I like doing this when looking in the mirror. I get off so damn fast. Sometimes I rub oil on my nipples. I explode everywhere and my hard throbbing cock is still asking for more.
Light one up
The best way to masturbate is to put something in your ass and jerk off. Trust me, the orgasm will be awesome. And if you're a smoker, smoke hard while masturbating.
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